I had a spiritual director during college named Tracy. She was the first person who clued me into Mother's Day being difficult for some women. I'd regarded it as a happy day, from the earliest celebrations when our church would buy a bucket of carnations and I would pick a pink one during the service and give it to my mom. Maybe there were a few years in the middle when it was poignant and sad, but then when I got a new nice mother, I enjoyed celebratory picnics in the pasture spearheaded by Dad.
This past week, I saw a revival on Facebook of the sentiment that for some women it's an unbearable day. I had my own new experience, with a wriggly little boy squirming away inside me at 24 weeks. But yesterday I had joy and not pain, we hoped for and want this baby and were able to conceive him with little heartache. Another year may bring another story.
Sometimes a good thing becomes a cliché, which was almost where I felt we (likeminded Facebook friends had) arrived yesterday, feeling guilty at any mention of the good work of mothers, lest it be placed on a pedestal above other good work of faithful women. But as Ali A. has said, in paraphrase, something that's true or good is always true or good.
Below is a copy/paste of the most meaningful thing I read. There was a piece on Huffington Post by a mom who'd lost her young baby, heartbreaking, and any number of disappointments around motherhood or longed-for motherhood, but I thought Amy Young's article at messymiddle.com (which I'd never encountered), was a gracious word. Ms. Young called it "Acknowledging the wide continuum of mothering."
To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you
To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you
To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you
To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you
To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is.
To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you
To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you
To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit with you
To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you
To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experience
To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst
To those who have aborted children – we remember them and you on this day
To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children – we mourn that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be
To those who step-parent – we walk with you on these complex paths
To those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren -yet that dream is not to be, we grieve with you
To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you
To those who placed children up for adoption — we commend you for your selflessness and remember how you hold that child in your heart
And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate with you
This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We remember you.
This past week, I saw a revival on Facebook of the sentiment that for some women it's an unbearable day. I had my own new experience, with a wriggly little boy squirming away inside me at 24 weeks. But yesterday I had joy and not pain, we hoped for and want this baby and were able to conceive him with little heartache. Another year may bring another story.
Sometimes a good thing becomes a cliché, which was almost where I felt we (likeminded Facebook friends had) arrived yesterday, feeling guilty at any mention of the good work of mothers, lest it be placed on a pedestal above other good work of faithful women. But as Ali A. has said, in paraphrase, something that's true or good is always true or good.
Below is a copy/paste of the most meaningful thing I read. There was a piece on Huffington Post by a mom who'd lost her young baby, heartbreaking, and any number of disappointments around motherhood or longed-for motherhood, but I thought Amy Young's article at messymiddle.com (which I'd never encountered), was a gracious word. Ms. Young called it "Acknowledging the wide continuum of mothering."
To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you
To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you
To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you
To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you
To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is.
To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you
To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you
To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit with you
To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you
To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experience
To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst
To those who have aborted children – we remember them and you on this day
To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children – we mourn that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be
To those who step-parent – we walk with you on these complex paths
To those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren -yet that dream is not to be, we grieve with you
To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you
To those who placed children up for adoption — we commend you for your selflessness and remember how you hold that child in your heart
And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate with you
This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We remember you.
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